


Phantom Limb

by DiverseMaterials



Category: Dragons: Riders of Berk (Cartoon), How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Comedy, Gen, Haunting, Madness, Randomness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-27
Updated: 2014-11-27
Packaged: 2018-02-27 05:47:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2681417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiverseMaterials/pseuds/DiverseMaterials
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lots of people are bothered by phantom limb pain when they lose a limb.<br/>Hiccup has a rather unique problem with his former appendage but no one on Berk will listen to him or wants to listen to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Phantom Limb

 

As the sun shone unusually strongly on the Isle of Berk, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the third, small slim boy and famed dragon trainer hobbled into the workshop of the local siege engineer turned dragon dentist with a rather pressing problem.

"Gobber do you ever get bothered by a phantom limb?"

The large viking with the long blond moustache removed a mace from the wooden socket in his arm and answered without turning to face Hiccup.

"What kind of dragon would that be?"

"It's not a dragon, its a condition!"

"Well I've never been bothered by one of them."

"Be serious Gobber, my foots bothering me."

"Want me to chop it off?"

"Yeah...No! I just want some advice on how to deal with it seeing as you have quite a few missing appendages."  
Gobber finally turned round while searching for an alternative implement to attach to his arm.

"Well I'm no healer Hiccup, I'm a weapon maker turned dentist. So what is bothering you exactly?"

"The foot that isn't there."

Gobber almost facepalmed with the sharp metal he had just attached to his arm and stopped just in time, "Hiccup!"

"Well, what I mean is, the foot shouldn't be there, the one I lost in the battle against the Red Death but it is, its following me around and bothering me."

"So its your left foot thats bothering you."

"Thats right."

"So its your right foot."

"No no, its my left."

"You just said it was your right."

"No no, I mean whats right is left."

Gobber frowned at Hiccup. "Remind us never to put you in charge of steering a ship. Hopefully that dragon of yours knows the difference. Anyway, phantom limb pain, when a limb appears to be there and appears to be hurting but it isn't there."

Hiccup folded his arms."So you DO know what I mean."

"I know what you meant." Gobber looked meaningfully at Hiccup. "I decided to pull your leg."

"I... yeah, hilarious Gobber, really, do you have any useful advice for me?

"Well..." Gobber mused as he swapped the tool in his arm again, this time for a brass fork. "When it appears, just imagine really really hard that your scratching that itch and it should stop. If its pain then just take a herbal concoction. Or you could knock yourself out, literally. That should discourage any pain from showing up."

"I don't think you understand Gobber, it's really there and its really bothering me."

Hiccup turned and glared at the corner of the workshop where the ghost of his left foot was hovering a few inches away from the floor. A few scraps of fabric clung to the upper half of the shin hiding any unpleasantness but it was mostly uncovered. Hiccup noted a faint spectral radiance surrounding it. The foot turned to face Hiccup and acknowledged his glare by wiggling it's toes in a manner that was somehow insulting.

"I know it can feel real, but no matter how real it feels..."

"Gobber it's not a feeling. I can see it, its in the corner of the shop being rude."

Gobber stared at him for a while, pulling at the end of his plaited moustache.

"Have you been testing the towns entire supply of mead?"

"Of course not that wouldn't solve anything."

"I think you'd better go home and get some rest Hiccup. The whole phantom limb thing will take care of itself. Promise."

Hiccup wanted to argue that Gobber couldn't make promises as he had no influence over the phantom limb. He decided against it, gave Gobber a curt nod and then left the workshop, stepping into the bright sunshine.

As he walked away he heard Gobber launching into another rendition of his favourite, "I've got my axe and I've got my mace and I love my wife with the ugly face," the sound of the words fading as Hiccup moved rapidly away from town.

Berk was at the height of its not-windy-and-horrible time and most of the island was covered in lush green foliage. Thick blades of grass framed the rocks and sprang up through every available crack and wet moss covered the stones. The greenery tried tried to grow in the town as well but was either trimmed, eaten by sheep, or flattened by many boots.

The other thing that most noticeably covered the island were many different species of dragons. The gronckles were most prominent today, flying around the island and forming circles. They moved their fat little bodies with considerable skill. Though 'little' to a dragon was quite larger than a yak. They were perched on rocky outcrops and a few deadly nadders patrolled the skies.

In the past there would never have been half as many dragons, and then usually at night time raids when they stole the sheep. This had gone on for generations until Hiccup had tamed that most mysterious and rare dragon, the Night Fury and the Berk vikings had gone on to make the dragons their ally. Hiccup had ushered in a time of peace and prosperity for Berk.  
Well, a time of peace at any rate.

Some huge rock slabs had been placed to make a sort of path up the mountain and Hiccup followed it, his prosthetic leg making a loud clacking sound on the rock, he strode over gaps as it could get stuck in the mud.  
Then when he was away from town he heard it.

_Plop. Plop. Plop._

Inevitably the foot was following him and always tended to keep to the greenery and soil, therefore making a distinct plopping sound. Hiccup sighed, there was no point in speeding up or slowing down, the foot would do what it did anyway.

_Plop. Plop. Plop._

The plopping stopped and he waited to see what would happen, though what happened was usually the same.  
Sure enough there was a rustle and the ghostly foot launched itself out of the greenery and kicked him hard in the thigh. It was a very odd sensation, being assaulted by ectoplasm and it felt like a huge ball of leaves rammed into his body and dispersed, the kick both connected with him and passed through him at the same time, it sometimes hurt but always left the area a little numb and tingly.

Hiccup snorted in exasperation and carried on walking. Gobber had been his first and best hope for a defense against this thing, but the conversation had been about as productive as one with the twins. He would have to put up with this for a while now, but it was neither the strangest or the most irritating thing that the bothersome ghost foot did. It had been unusual for it to use sign language to be mocking when he was in Gobbers' shop.

For the foot had developed a voice.  
It was a strange high pitched voice that was completely unlike his own, unless it was him talking while holding his nose and grinning maniacally. It also had a very small vocabulary, usually limited to just a few sentences.

Hiccup continued to walk along and the foot continued to plod along beside him.

"Kick ya bum!" it sang out.

"No! Stop!" snapped Hiccup in irritation. He shooed it away with his hands but that didn't do any good. A few moments later the foot carried out its intention landing a hard kick in Hiccups' rear end. He grunted and decided that he would go down the mountain after all.  
His foot; and it was definitely his for he recognised a pattern of three small moles on it although the thing had a green phosphorous tint to it, the foot had returned for Odin knows what reason and seemed to have developed a severe dislike for him, despite him treating it quite well when it was still attached to him. Generally it acted this out by attacking him once per day.  
He hoped that by sitting in a chair or lying in a bed, he could hopefully shield himself from what seemed to be his former foots favourite target.

He thrust some bushes aside and made a beeline for his hut in the distance. "I'm very glad I still got all my other limbs" he said. The foot launched at him again and whacked his head, messing up his hair. Yeah, that happened sometimes.

"Canadian Immigrant" it yelled at him.

"What does that even mean?" muttered Hiccup.

The foot got in another two kicks on his rump and then he got near to the circle of building where the chiefs hut and his room was. Milling about in front of the buildings was the unmistakable figure of Snotlout Jorgennson. Hiccup smiled and quickened his pace. He didn't expect to feel relief and gladness upon seeing Snotlout of all people but the foot became quiescent in company and that was a situation that hadn't changed.

His smile faded as he got closer however. Snotlout had seen him and had that particular look on his face. Despite Hiccup being the son of the chief and despite him being a dragon trainer and one of the most respected people on Berk nowadays, Snotlout just really liked to have fights with people. So in spite of Hiccups position of authority or more likely because of it, Snotlout sometimes liked to find an excuse for a friendly punch up. Just about the only person on Berk besides Astrid who would hit him. Like how Astrid would give him a friendly punch that still genuinely hurt so would he, except that Snotlouts' arms were kind of like miniature barrels and his 'friendly' punch would make Hiccup see stars or leave marks that would last for weeks.

No point complaining to the chief at all, a viking was expected to get bruises even a few scars. Also the Jorgennsons were not without influence on Berk, always always always winning the thawfest festival.

So there was an obviously agressive viking in front of him and a vengeful severed limb just behind him.  
Hiccup pushed his knuckles into his forehead and sighed deeply.

  
This was not going to be a day he'd want to remember.


End file.
